A Story of Coaching the Person, NOT the Problem
(3 min read)
To start, I asked, "Imagine I’m a miracle creator. What miracle would you want me to help you create?"
Asking a powerful starting question is essential. It's the beginning of the client seeing that this is different.
This isn't chatting. This is going deep with the help of a professional coach.
"I need a miracle to shift my mindset around finances," she said.
She explained that she’s been creating lack and scarcity.
Her two small businesses recently stopped generating revenue.
As a result, she came to the coaching in fear, seeking answers.
"What do you think is causing this?" I asked.
I asked the question she was seeking the answer to.
"I feel we create our reality, and something in my mind has created this lack. It’s my mindset."
In these moments, when the client believes things are the way in which they appear, it's important to remember a couple of coaching truths…
Just because we think it doesn’t mean it’s true, and our first thoughts are rarely our best thoughts.
So rather than jumping in and trying to fix her issue, I remained curious and asked more questions.
Not questions to get her to get anything.
Not questions to guide her in the direction of greater abundance.
Not questions that are nothing more than disguised suggestions.
Just questions, the kind that open the mind to greater clarity.
"Imagine it's a year later, and you've had the most abundant 12 months you've ever had. Looking back, what shifted? Who did you have to be? What was the big insight that changed everything?"
As we continued, she mentioned having gone to the gym that day. It made me curious to ask about her schedule.
She woke up at 7 in the morning, a little later than usual. She took her son to school, went to the gym, and then stopped to have her phone fixed. After that, she came home and cooked lunch.
Being completely present and empty, focusing on listening with deep curiosity, the next question came to mind.
"If you could imagine that your lack of abundance is not coming from your mindset, where else could it come from?"
And that was the insight.
"I'm not spending any time on my business and bringing in money," she added.
She came to session certain her problem was mindset. She expected me to help her change it.
But her problem was a lack of clarity. She couldn't see that her tendency to do everything else except work on creating income was leading to zero income.
See, most coaches would coach the problem.
They would jump in with the typical abundance mindset suggestions: visualization techniques, affirmations, meditating on money, or reading "Think and Grow Rich."
The problem with coaching the problem is that it does not work well.
People don't need ideas and information. They need to change. And change comes from insight.
In fact, insight is the starting point of change.
And once we experience insight, change becomes inevitable.
Think about that. Insight makes change inevitable.
Once you finally realize what's really true, moving forward becomes easy. Often it's automatic.
Here's another one…
Insight is the distinction between trying to run the maze better and realizing there is no maze.
She realized it wasn't a mindset issue and therefore she didn't need to waste time trying to improve it.
The work we did was then focused on creating systems to ensure she takes action every day.
Action is what matters. Everything we want is on the other side of action.
Coach the person, not the problem. Be present to what comes up in the sacred space of a coaching call. Honor their inner-knowing. Ask deep questions and never buy into their story.
Do these things and people will send their friends to you for coaching.
❤️ John Strasser