Typical Life Coach Podcast
Ep #38: Wisdom from an enlightened coach
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A coach needs a coach
I knew the theory that every coach needs a coach but I didn’t want to engage a coach right now.
But being at the receiving end of coaching for the first time was a real eye opener!!! The new ideas that came up when the coach gave me the space to think, the blind spots I discovered and the depths of thoughts their questions triggered in me were absolutely mind blowing! Even though I had seen this all with my clients, experiencing it for myself was truly transformative.
It was and also is still immensely helpful to observe and learn from good coaching as well as noticing and learning from things I would do differently, or weak coaching habits I now recognize in my own coaching.
Time if your most precious resource
It is very easy to be overwhelmed by the information available everywhere: courses, podcasts, videos, books, talks, you name it – and all of this is so tempting, especially when you come from a background which preaches “knowledge is power.”
And as John often says: “learning is easy.”
But like my clients I want transformation not information, so I learned how important it is to become the leader in my own development and take responsibility for where to spend my time as well as my energy.
So now I am much more careful of how to spend my resources. First of all time of course, our most precious and most limited resource. Even if I go for a walk, I ask myself whether it would be more beneficial to listen to an informative podcast, some relaxing music or use the time for deep thinking? Of course I am not always mindful of what I am doing and often choose escapism over difficult tasks, but I am much more often conscious of this question, and it helps me enormously to focus more on what I am doing and overall get so much more joy out of it.
Slowing down means focusing
Slowing down, both in the coaching conversation but also in life in general, is a big theme for me. I realized that for me it is not about doing less or working for fewer hours. For me, it boils down to spending more FOCUS on what I am doing at each moment.
So for me, slowing down does not speed up things, or even tries to speed up things. It is more about squeezing each moment for its JOY.
For example, in the beginning I built a system of how many people to connect and circle back with, trying to increase the number, so as to have better chances to have opportunities to offer gifted sessions etc. But now, I realize that focussing on what I am doing, rather than counting the numbers I can track later, and connecting not only with words but with my heart and energy with the other person, is not just so much more powerful (I now get much more replies) but also much more satisfying and joyful for me. Each connection feels now like a little service to the other person and it is complete and detached from any outcome. The more I focus the more I enjoy each task (even washing the dishes) and it feels like slowing down me is slowing down time.
Focus on the process not the outcome
I love John’s insight: “the one thing that brought me so far is holding me back from getting to the next level.” One thing that got me here is my enthusiasm and determination to reach my goal of becoming a very good and a successful coach. But I now realized that the next level lies in detachment from the outcomes and reversal of concepts:
Coaching and the idea of service for me go hand in hand and allows coaching to be in line with my spiritual values. But in the last half year I came to the realization that service to the other person comes first and coaching naturally follows – not the other way round.
Also, I believe that there are powerful coaching tools, but realized in a coaching session intuition comes first, before considering any coaching tools.
Last but not least, I knew that my success is linked to the success of the client, but I now realize that the client’s success comes first and my own success will follow naturally.
All of this allows me to relax, focus on what I am doing and who I am at the moment and thereby become detached from the outcome and enjoy the journey.
My coaching skills have improved immensely in the last half year and I am now a much more powerful coach and therefore a more confident coach and a more confident client creator. Thus, I am much more confident in what I am doing which in turn makes me a better coach, so an upward spiral of growth and joy. A win-win situation for me and my clients. I also realised even more how lucky I am to have the best job in the world.