Typical Life Coach Podcast
Ep #11: How To NOT Be Typical
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Powerful Questions To Ask When A Client Doesn't Have Anything To Be Coached On
I’m wondering (or I’m curious), imagine that what’s keeping you stuck no longer exists and you could see with great clarity, what’s possible for your life?
What has been creeping into the back of your mind for the past couple of months that you keep pushing away because you haven't been ready to deal with it?
Imagine right now that you are a child. You are still you but you are looking at the world through the lens of endless possibilities. What are your dreams?
If we could remove one fear from your life, which one would have the biggest impact?
The Typical Life Coach Vs. The Insight Coach
Typical Life Coaches care more about being liked than being professional. The coaching hour becomes a social hour. They offer cappuccinos and compliments rather than powerful coaching. They try really, really hard to get their clients to like them.
Insight Coaches aren’t trying to make friends, although they probably have lots of them. They show up to serve rather than to please or impress. They avoid the need to be sweet. They want their clients to never forget their experience for the rest of their natural life.
Typical Life Coaches create no distinction between friendly chit chat and life-changing coaching conversations. They never begin their coaching by asking, “Are you ready to get started?” Instead they ask questions like, “What do you want to get coached on today?” Or even worse, “What would you like to chat about?”
Insight Coaches begin by asking deep, thought-provoking, insight-evoking questions. They never refer to their coaching as chatting. They understand that “how you build it is how it becomes.” The level of their commitment to their clients is directly proportional to their level of commitment to themselves and their business.
Typical Life Coaches coach as the expert. They give advice and try to solve problems. They don’t understand that there are no problems. Just stories that tell us differently. They listen more to their own thoughts than their client’s words. Most of the time they’re in their own head rather than in the present.
Insight Coaches know that people don’t need information. They need transformation. They don’t need new strategies. They need insight. They know what they need to do. They just can't do it. And there’s something within them - there’s a level of expertise and insight they can access through powerful coaching that no expert can ever share with them.
Typical Life Coaches are in a hurry. They rush their clients. They don’t understand the power in allowing silence to do the work. They consider it awkward and then unconsciously create that feeling in their coaching.
Insight Coaches understand the power of slowing down. They listen with all their being. And then they listen even more. By slowing themselves down they slow their clients down, and in between their thoughts reside life changing insights.
Typical Life Coaches talk too much. They interrupt, and when they’re not talking, they’re thinking about what to say next. They’re unfocused and distracted. They maintain very little presence.
Insight Coaches know that what they are about to say is most likely nowhere near as important as what their client is about to think. So they speak less. They’re present, focused, and most importantly curious. They ask questions that come to mind, and when they must share, they ask permission.
Typical Life Coaches share their own insights rather than creating the space for their clients to access their own. They’re not actually coaches and they don’t even know it. They’re consultants, experts, or gurus, but not the real ones. They’re the epitome of information and therefore not what their clients need.
Insight Coaches actually coach. They listen, ask questions, and reflect back to their clients what they’re hearing. They’re present, professional, and tapped into their intuition. They trust the process and know that clients get exactly what they get, exactly when they get it.
Coach Ken's Powerful Way of Showing Up As A Coach
I am creating a safe place to have our conversation. Nothing will be discussed outside of it, and I do not record our conversation. They are told I am holding the coaching space for them and that it is their space to discuss what comes up for them.
I let them know I show up empty, that I do not prepare in advance to find out who they are. I do not want to enter a conversation with any preconceived ideas about them to influence me.
I tell them that when I ask questions, they might experience me going silent and that it may be uncomfortable for them, but that is to allow them to deeply reflect on the question. I let them know they do not need to fill the silence.
I let them know that I do take notes to capture key points of what they say.
I let them know that I may ask questions that may cause them to be uncomfortable, however, I give them permission that if they are not willing to share deep emotions, all they have to do is let me know they are not ready to go that deep.
I tell them that they have met the only person in the world who is willing to go with them where no one else is willing to, I am there to help them experience deep insights, not to have a friendly chat.
I tell them they are the most important person in the world to me when we are in conversation. I show up 100% present for them and together we will create a coaching partnership.
I let them know that I am not here to tell them how bad their life is, what they are doing wrong, that I can fix them, give them the solutions to their problems, or be their expert.
I tell them I will challenge them when I see they need to be challenged, however, I will always ask their permission first.
By preparing them in the beginning on how I am going to show up, it begins the trusting process. This preparation is very important to me and vital to creating a partnership moving forward.